I always believed that after four decades of starting several days each week when it’s dark and ending them with a burger and beverage after covering a late-night meeting, I’d look forward to solitude when all is said and done.
No, I didn’t retire, except maybe mentally the last week-and-a-half.
I am, however, battling some kind of invader of my body that has decided that whatever it takes in is going to make a dramatic exit from my system. I’ve spent little time in the office. Yesterday was my record so far: four hours. So, I’m getting a sneak peak at what retirement could offer.
I’ve never had a tremendous desire to travel. I don’t want to see faraway lands. I live in the greatest part of the greatest place on earth already. The people are fantastic and from what I remember about being able to consume food, there were lots and lots of really great places. I don’t currently desire any of them, which makes me sad. I’m limited to my half cup of rice with some chicken broth a couple times a day.
In short, my view of retirement was always to get to the point where I won’t have to do much of anything.
I am now seeing the error of my ways. In my short stint partially homebound, I can tell I’m going to have to amend my retirement plan. Even for someone who doesn’t crave excitement, I’m bored.
I’ve spent hours and hours in my recliner. Sometimes I check out the couch in the other room just for a change of scenery. I think that’s the very definition of being bored. On Saturday, we had advance plans to spend time with our grandkids. My wife was prepared to cancel when I told her we were making the trip. “I can sit on their couch just as easy as I can sit on ours,” I told her. And sit I did, in a new place. The kids’ laughter and smiles did more for me than any medical advice I’ve received so far.
Right now, we’re awaiting some test results, but the preliminary diagnosis is that perhaps I acquired some sort of food poisoning. I’ve had a few gallbladder attacks, and I had personally diagnosed this as the time I’d get to say goodbye to that old friend. However, Mr. Gallbladder is not to blame this time, and he will be staying on board the ship, hopefully for years to come.
This is posing another dilemma for me. I don’t suggest, certainly, and I’m obviously not fit to dispense medical advice, but if you want to lose a quick 20 lbs., this is a really fast but really painful way to do it. If I was publishing a diet plan at this point, you’d really want to take a hard look at the very small print where the side effects are listed.
Back to the dilemma: Two weeks ago, I bought a new suit. Our eldest daughter gets married a week from Friday. My first problem is I have to be better by then. My second is that in all likelihood that suit may not fit so well.
Oh well, for lack of a better term, this too shall pass. I know it will. Everything else is.